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Recently I've unintentionally taken a step back from social media and I've only just realised how much I was still attached to it. I've been constantly trying to build a following and staying up to date with online artists and mutuals in the hopes that one day I could build a career out of it but that's just not something I want to do anymore. I've been going out of my way to just interact with people more on a one on one basis, like actually engaging with people and it's been so much more fulfilling. I know that sounds stupid but it's a big thing for me, I have like pretty bad anxiety when talking to people, especially online so it's been a big step for me. I can do more and I'm slowly working up to it but it's just been very pleasant.

I've been so scared of losing the following I'd built but honestly it's been long gone anyway. The algorithm only shows my posts to the same 20 people and I don't have the steam power to keep up with something like that. I think it's really hit me recently that art just isn't in the cards for me career wise, atleast not the way I thought when I was younger. I'm still going to draw and take time out to develop and work on my own personal projects. It's just taken me a long time to break out of that mindset of everything needs to be profitable.

Art has always been very important to me and I'm always going to prioritise it in my life but I just don't want to chase this goal that I don't believe in anymore. Posting constantly placed alot of pressure for my art to perform well and it made me start devaluing my own stuff as well. I don't want that, I just want to make stuff for me and be happy with it because it's for me and not because it performed well online.

Anyways, delete instagram, that shit fucking sucks and I wish facebook and just meta in general dissapears off the face of the earth.

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I've been working on a Chell cosplay for the last 2 months leading to megacon and I think I underestimated how much work this would take >_>'

I had originally planned to go as Barney from HL1 but then changed my mind, I just really like making something if I'm cosplaying and I didn't get to do that with the Barney cosplay so I decided to build a portal gun and fall boots instead.

I've been slowly chipping away at stuff for the past 2 months to get it done but the suit and the boots are still not done :((. I put off the adjustments I'd have to make to the jumpsuit for so long, similarly with the boots. The gun is nearly done tho, I could probably have it finished tomorrow :DD

I think once the gun is finished it'll give me the motivation to finish everything else. I need to prioritise the boots tho cus god damn, I have no clue how I'm gonna make it work.

* Update: I rushed a few days before con and got everything finished, realised I didn't like how the fall boots looked so the night before I used white fabric paint to make a pair of black boots I had to sort of resemble the fall boots. Portal gun then broke on the train ride there but it was all good cus I met some awesome cosplayers and had a lovely time :))

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With xmas over with I'm really starting to look forward to going megacon in march!!!

I may have impulsively brought some stuff for cosplaying even though i might not be interested in it for march '>->
but tbf it's something I wanted to do for a convention back in 2024 so its stuck around in my brain for that long.

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I AM GOING TO SPOIL THIS MOVIE!!! I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE DOWN BELOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, DO NOT CARRY ON READING!!! I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO PUT A DROPDOWN FOR THIS RANT.

I saw the new movie today and I'm posting this as I have just got back from the cinema. It was peak. I loved pretty much everything about it besides one thing and I suspect that many people will have an issue with the same thing but i digress. All the animatronics looked amazing. CIRCUS BABY WAS IN THERE!!!! HELLO?!?!?! amazing. Vanessa was my favourite part of the movie, i love her. She will always be my fav I fear. I'm glad we saw more of Jeremy aswell. We also got the fnaf 1 vs fnaf 2 animatronic fight as fated in the prophecies and the OGs dominated, obviously.

My main issue is with Michael Afton. I think it's obvious I think alot about this specific character from my AU but I was really dissapointed with the direction the movie is taking him.

I thought I had hid it pretty well but my friend overheard me laugh at his grand reveal scene even though I thought I had kept it quiet ://. I should apologise to everyone in that cinema. Since I've left I haven't been able to stop taking the piss, I keep repeating "It's me MIchael Afton, the evil afton." over and over again. I think there's alot they could do with his character if it's heading in the direction I think it's heading but I just don't like how they're going about it so far. He kinda just did nothing but gloat and use the animatronics to fight for him.

I don't usually try to predict films but I have a few points that I wanna see if they end up being true or not, specifically with Michael. I think he's gonna go fazbear frights, free and help his dad but William is still gonna treat him like a pile of shit and Michael is gonna be like "yo, I'm helping you be evil and stuff what the hell!", see that his dad doesn't give a shit no matter what he does and then either run away or maaaaybe help mike and abby save vanessa or kill william. The end, give me my fifty faz bucks.

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I can access both sites from firefox again!!! I have no clue why it stopped working in the first place but I can use neocities normally again :))

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I recently started playing the Postal games on steam. Its been fun working through them.

My favs so far have been the original postal/redux and brain damaged.

I did really enjoy postal 2 aswell but honestly prefered the paradise lost dlc over the original game. I got an hour into postal 3 before deciding it wasnt worth it. Its a shame cus there were aspects about it that I liked but the actual gameplay and barely being playable let it down. I've never seen weapons that dont shoot where you aim in a game before, its actually baffling.

The one I would recommend playing would be brain damaged, it runs well on the computer, the style is good and its just a really fun game to play.

Going to try and play postal 4 but honestly I just wanna try and 100% redux or the original.

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Constantly saying I'll update stuff and be more active but at this point i think I should just accept im not a very active person online.

I need to know how people get shit they wanna do done cus I'll just sit here and be like "WOW, That sounds like a great idea!" then do fuck all. I wanna write a story or comic for my fnaf au and I have ideas for it but actually sitting down and doing it is a different problem.

ALSO, neocities lil dropdown menu doesnt work in firefox and I dont know how to fix it so if i wanna edit on here I gotta use microsoft edge ToT

Anyways, with the nicer weather coming up, hopefully I'll get more motivation to make stuff, I wanna be more active on here aswell.

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I haven't updated the site in a while, life happened and came to kick me in the ass which hasnt been fun tbh.

I wanna update the site tho, I have ideas for the character pages which really need updating and such, it's just finding the time atm. There's alot of stuff I just wanna tweak in general. I have concepts of a plan lol.

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I was able to catch a faint glimpse of the northern lights yesterday night and I had hoped to see them again tonight but no such luck. Even with the small glimpse I got I could understand why people travel just to see them, they were really beautiful. I think what got me was how big they looked, stretching across the sky, I haven't seen anything like it before. When I'm older I'll have to travel to see them properly.

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I've worked alot on talking to people and to not feel so anxious and I'm alot better when actually talking to people now, I've definetely come a long way but something about talking to people online just makes me revert back to when I was a teen. It's completely daunting. I'm sure it has something to do with not being able to see people's reactions, same reason why I struggle with phone calls but like damn it does not have to be this anxiety inducing. Very silly when you want to make friends in the same online communities as you -_-'.

I'm sure with gradual exposure to this stuff I'll get better and it wont be as terrifying but it's very frustrating still.

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I'm an idiot that impulsively decided to dye my hair and get the wrong dye colour and now my hair is pitch black. I am an idiot and the world's most foolish jester. How naive I was this morning before disaster struck. My life is ruined.

Oh, I also updated this page so now it looks like AO3 cus I thought it was a good idea. Took me like a week to do but I learnt stuff so maybe it was all worth it.

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I added three new characters to my character page and actually wrote some stuff for them unlike the first three. They have bio's and everything :)) I'll eventually add stuff the the first three's pages but I don't have their story fully thought out at all so I can't really put anything yet -_-'

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I switched my browser from google to firefox and only just saw that my header covers the link bar -_-' I am a fool and I hate google

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I ended up making the seperate neocities for my FNaF AU. You guys should check it out, I've been working on it for the last few days. It's been pretty fun and I'm kind of proud of it. It still needs little tweaks here and there and it's nowhere near finished but it's gonna make documenting stuff and editing stuff over on this one alot easier.

foolishbusiness.neocities.org

ALSO, you should go listen to this album. I've been playing it on repeat for the last few weeks now and I seriously can't put into words how cool it is.

Connection Failed - Egelskop (my fav song from the album atm)

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I've been blocked from my own guestbook -_-' which is fun. On other news, I decided to make the new neocities for my fnaf au! Once I'm happy with it I'll link it on my page.

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Spent most of today doing small updates which turned into some pretty big ones. Moved the guestbook to a different website. one that looks nicer and overall is easier to manage. I know previos comments are lost but if you ever commented and you wanted to see the old page, let me know and I'll send you the link to the old page cus I've kept it as an archive. I've also updated alot of the overall look of most pages, I was unhappy with alot of them and I still want to change more but I'm more pleased with how they look atm. Some of them were very outdated with their code aswell but that's something I'll look more into a different day; I've already fixed most major flaws with them so hopefully the pages should work faster.

I'm also considering moving the FNaF AU to its own seperate website since my current one is hard to organise with how many pages there are, mostly from that part. Once I figure out a name to call it I'll start moving all of that over there instead. I'm just alot happier with how this is looking now :)) Still cant get images to not take forever to load, I might be exporting them at too high quality and need to compress them -_-'

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Hello! I havent really been updating this website for awhile, there's still things I want to change but I cant find the motivation to atm, been busy with work and other hobbies. In other news, I've been playing most of the Half-Life games and I completely forgot it ends on a cliffhanger until I got to the end of episode 2 :')) It's been fun playing through all of them, I'm currently playing through blue shift and really enjoying it. Hope you all have a good day!

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Haven't updated the site in a while, not really sure what I want to do with it atm. I turned 20 this january, my bones grow ever weaker. Hope everyone had a nice new year :))

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Instantly fell in love with this game after watching RTGame's vid on it. It has amazing art direction and amazing meta-commentary. You should check it out.

American Arcadia: Your Life is a Reality TV Show, Escape It - RTGame

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I eventually want to add music to some of the pages here, I just need to figure out how...

My previous attempts haven't been too successful -_-' The one music player stopped my index from updating at ALL, I thought it was just being slow but nope, once I got rid of the music player it updated immediately. I'll crack tho code someday.

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Most of my characters need updated refs and its a hastle to actually do them :(( I also don't know how I want their pages to look yet so I havent even started making them. UUUUGH if only inspiration could hit me in the face and I could have an idea on where to start.

The FNaF AU needs updating aswell with new refs, the refs I had already started doing are now outdated so I gotta start again, curse me and wanting them to be perfect. I think the main issue is that I want them to look exactly as I imagine them in my head but thats difficult.

My attack plan is to just get the pages set up eventually then get the stuff drawn for them afterwards. There's simply not enough time in the daaaaaaaaaay >:((

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I've updated this page again. I originally started updating my page again to add more characters to the FNaF AU and my characters page but I think I've been doing this to put it off. I think I made this page too bright tho :/

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The Amazing Digital Circus (Original Song) - "Who am I?" - Caleb Hyles

I also want to update this page again, Its too ourple

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Words are a collection of letters that when are together, form some sort of meaning or smth.

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